Monday, December 24, 2007

Christians Give Me a Day Off

Some merry christmas. Heather is sick this weekend. Nasty little virus. Sore throat and fever along with congestion. She just went to the doc on christmas eve. Not fortunate enough to get the positive strep culture; but just lucky enough to get some codine. Finally, tonight she shall sleep.

Surely you are chuckling to yourself with glee knowing that soon I will be struck down by the very same virus. Not so fast there skippy. I have hippies on my side. Thirteen months ago I got strep for what would turn out to be the first of two bouts in only two months time. My doctor was useless. In typical western medicine style, he simply scripted me some antibiotics and gave not a second thought as to why this had happened. I told him that I did not believe in taking medicines that only treated symptons. He nodded as if to understand what I was saying. Following a long conversation about all things Phil and my physiological shortcomings, he pushed me out the door with my script and a god damn sample box of some drug that helps your snoring go away by adressing only the sympton of the snoring. The cause of the snoring would remain untouched. This action would prove to be infuriating on two levels.

1. God damn marketing of drugs to me. Me- a guy who disdains advertising. Especially in the realm of pharmaceuticals. This was a sample box that was no doubt handed to the doc by a busty blonde in a mini skirt. Nothing wrong with that last part of course.

2. This drug treated the sympton and ignored the cause. I turn up my snoring nose at said box. Heather loves my principles and hates to sleep restfully.

My company had recently switched insurance which left me to cover half of the total doctor bill. Further infuriation. Upon examining my insurance info, it was discovered that the normally cheap Bushnell family had sprang for a secondary coverage plan called alternative care. A visit to a naturopath physician would call for a traditional $25 co-pay. Not a tough decision.

My visit to the N.D. was fantastic. We had a long conversation followed by some poking and thumping and an order for a full set of blood labs. She had some theories as to why my immune system was so limp, and the bloodwork proved her to be at least partially correct. Instead of prescribing drugs- we had discovered some root causes. Vitamins and natural supplements were used to adress these issues. A follow up visit? Not unless I deem one necessary.

Nearly a full year later my immune system is strong like ox. My suggestion to you is to go see a N.D. She wasn't even a hippie- I swear.

Back to christmas weekend. For several years in a row, we participated in a christmas eve pub crawl down North Lombard street. Unfortunately, the instigators of this tradition decided to join the world of the breeders. Goodbye nopo pub crawl. I had considered trying to get a group together to go out this christmas eve, but Heather's litttle viral friend has put a stop to those ambitions. Lots of movies and chair sitting for my holiday weekend. That's not such a bad thing, for I don't really like people that much and I am bound to see some hot actresses naked.

1 comment:

The Hamzinger said...

Hippie doctor: "But I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!"
Robot loudspeaker car: "You've got a degree in baloney." Squirt doctor. End scene.

I think it all depends on your doctor, naturopathic or no. I always try for chick doctors since they're typically more sympathetic to such plights and (in my history) seek to root out causes as well as symptoms.

Now, if we could just combine the hot actress/busty blonde/doctor thing, well, sir, it'd be a merry Christmas indeed...

Hope Heather's better soon.